Building Resilience: Fun and Practical Ways to Widen Your Young Child’s Window of Tolerance

As parents, we want to equip our children with the tools they need to navigate life's ups and downs with resilience and confidence. One essential skill is the ability to widen their window of tolerance—the capacity to manage stress and regulate emotions effectively. Fortunately, there are many practical and fun ways to help your young child develop this important skill! Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Practice Deep Breathing Together:

Teach your child the power of deep breathing by practicing together. Make it fun by pretending to blow up a balloon with deep breaths, imagining you're blowing away a cloud, or practice big breaths with the all-time favourite item in my home: BUBBLES!

Teddy bear breathing is really fun too! Place a teddy bear (or a favourite toy or stuffie) on your belly while lying on your back to teach deep belly breathing. Make it playful by encouraging your child to slowly rock the teddy to sleep while their tummy goes up and down, or see how high and how low the teddy bear can go. Encourage them to take slow, deep breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth.

*Did you know that it is REALLY important that we, as caregivers, are able to stay regulated amidst our child’s dysregulation? Easier said than done I know. As a mother of three young children I am well aware of the noise, chaos, and beautiful chorus of 3 children crying “Momma” all at once that can stir up a mountain of inner stress and angst. When people would talk about the importance of breathing it used to be something I shrugged off or did one of those inner eye rolls but can I tell you something? It truly is the most effective tool in my toolbox! Big… deep… breaths while counting to 10 before I react or to increase my capacity to be with my child in their dysregulation to help them return to their window of tolerance.

2. Create a Calm Down Corner:

Designate a special area in your home as a calm down corner where your child can go when they need a break. Fill it with cozy pillows, soft blankets, and calming sensory toys like stress balls or fidget spinners. And make sure your child is part of the process! Encourage your child to use this space to take a few moments to calm down and regroup when they're feeling overwhelmed.

*Put some things in the cozy corner that help support YOU when you’re feeling overwhelmed as well and model it for your child! “Daddy’s/Mommy’s chest is feeling really tight with all of this noise. I need to go to the cozy corner and take some big, deep breaths.”

3. Engage in Sensory Activities:

Incorporate sensory activities into your child's routine to help them regulate their emotions and stay grounded. Experiment with different textures, smells, and sounds through activities like finger painting, playing with kinetic sand or rice, or listening to calming music. Sensory play can provide a soothing and calming experience for children, helping them manage stress and anxiety more effectively. All children are different, but baths have been an extremely effective “go-to” for two of my children! With the warmer weather, bringing more water play in the backyard will definitely be happening!

*Something else that isn’t always talked about is the importance of making sure you are doing activities where your own nervous system can stay regulated. Don’t bring out finger paint if you’ll be anxiously hovering over them the entire time (this is me 100%). I’ve learned that I can easily stay within my own window of tolerance with water play both indoors and outdoors. Water splashed around, spilled, sprayed, etc. is something I can handle easily so it is one I turn to quite often. I still take out paint on occasion but I make sure it is on a day where I have the capacity to handle it and still make sure to set my own limits such as only taking paint out when the wild 2 year old is napping!

4. Read Books About Emotions:

Choose age-appropriate books that explore emotions and resilience with your child. Look for stories that feature characters experiencing a range of emotions and overcoming challenges. After reading, discuss the emotions the characters experienced and how they handled them. This can evolve into conversations where you can each reflect on times you or other people in your world have had various feelings as well. By regularly engaging in these discussions, you can help your child build emotional intelligence and strengthen their ability to navigate the complexities of the world around them.

5. Play Emotion Charades:

Put a playful spin on emotional awareness with a game of emotion charades. Write down different emotions on slips of paper and take turns acting them out while the other person guesses. This game not only helps your child recognize emotions but also deepens their understanding of how feelings feel in their body when they are experiencing them. Encourage them to pay attention to the physical sensations associated with each emotion as they act them out. This not only enhances their emotional awareness but also strengthens their ability to identify and manage their own feelings effectively. Additionally, it fosters empathy as they consider how others might be feeling based on their actions and expressions.

6. Model Healthy Coping Strategies:

Be a positive role model for your child by demonstrating healthy coping strategies in your own life. Practice self-care, take breaks when you need them, and use positive self-talk to manage stress. Your child learns by watching you, so modeling resilience and emotional regulation is key.

In Conclusion:

Building resilience in young children is a gradual process that requires patience, practice, and consistency. By incorporating these practical and fun activities into your child's daily routine, you can help them develop the skills they need to widen their window of tolerance and thrive in the face of life's challenges. Remember to celebrate their progress and provide plenty of encouragement along the way!

How great is it that we can support and guide our children while also having fun?

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